Counter culture: Wow, dude, there's like… these two cows, man. You got to have some of this milk. Far out! Awesome!

Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Japanese democracy: You have two cows. You give the milk to gangsters so they don't ask any awkward questions about who you're giving the milk to.

European federalism: You have two cows which cost too much money to care for because everybody is buying milk imported from some cheap east-European country and would never pay the fortune you'd have to ask for your cows' milk. So you apply for financial aid from the European Union to subsidise your cows and are granted enough subsidies. You then sell your milk at the former elevated price to some government-owned distributor which then dumps your milk onto the market at east-European prices to make Europe competitive. You spend the money you got as a subsidy on two new cows and then go on a demonstration to Brussels complaining that the European farm-policy is going to drive you out of your job.

Eastern european democracy: You have two cows. You sell the milk (diluted with some water) at a high price to the neighbours or to anyone at the open-air market. If somebody asks for receipt, you charge for a two times higher price, so nobody will request an invoice. For concerned families with small babies you claim that the milk is «bio», though you collect the grass for feeding at the side of the highway and you keep the milk in plastic barrels used previously as containers of dangerous chemicals. Later, your neighbour or anybody from town will steal the cows and you will buy their meat for a high price, and if you ask for a receipt, you will be charged for a two times higher price.

Finnish socialism: You have two cows. Soon you have to kill one of them because in the Netherlands there is an overproduction of milk and the European Union rules say so. When you do so, you realize that it was not necessary, only the system was too slow in getting you the up-to-date news. From the stress, you get an ulcer in your stomach so you go to a doctor. The doctor realizes that this ulcer is a serious one, so you need an urgent treatment. Therefore, you soon get a call to the local hospital. The call's date is for 3 months later, because there is a queue with more urgent cases. Then your ulcer becomes even more serious because you remember that 40 percent of your income is taken for social tax.

"bio" – «био» (продукт)

adopt– здесь: усыновлять, удочерять

affair – дело, афера

anarchy – анархия

animal – животное

annual – ежегодный

apartment – квартира

associated – ассоциированный, ассоциирующийся

awkward – нелепый

ban (from) – запрещать

barn – амбар

barrel – бочка

bovine – коровий; здесь (иронич.): коровоподобное существо

brain – мозг, мозги

brother-in-law – шурин (деверь)

bull – бык

bureaucracy – бюрократия

bureaucratic – бюрократический

chemical – химическое вещество

claim – требовать, провозглашать, объявлять

collect – собирать

competitive – конкуренто – способный

complain – жаловаться

concept – концепт, концепция, представление

container – контейнер

correctness – корректность

cow – корова

debt – долг, долговое обязательство, задолженность

democracy – демократия

deny – отрицать, отвергать

dictatorship – диктатура

dilute – разбавлять, разводить

distributor – дистрибьютор, оптовый торговец

draft – здесь: призывать на воинскую службу

drain – канава, дренажная труба

dub – называть, обзывать