Think about your future family. Imagine it. It’s necessary to analyze your parents’ mistakes especially if they got divorced. Prepare to family relations and look closely not only at your girlfriend but at everybody who can have an influence on your family prosperity – her family – because endowments, features of character, commitment to family values, etc. are formed there, in her inner circle.
If she has grown up in a friendly and open atmosphere where people get used to stick together at any difficult situation, where your values and interests and her relatives’ ones interlace and the family for her is not the empty phrase – you are lucky!
But perhaps there can be the opposite situation, at the slightest problem she will rush to that place where she is appreciated and loved and where she will be always offered a helping hand to overcome the family misfortune. Then you’ll see neither her nor your child – such things have happened…
That’s why talk and check! Look and observe how she behaves at difficult situations, how she emerges from a conflict – on her own or following the advice of important people: relatives, friends, etc. From this we can conclude who is in front of you and how high you are valued.
Maria was 35, Egor was 37. She worked in a bank and he, Candidate of Physical and Mathematical Sciences, worked for one of the top-tier consulting firms. Both were Moscow residents. They met and fell in love. They applied to registry office in a half a year. The baby was born, and a young mother absolutely changed. Egor was met by always complaining wife, who didn’t have time for cooking, washing, ironing. He couldn’t understand: where was that gentle and understanding woman? Where was she? Mutual irritation had been accumulating until it turned into open hostility, and a divorce followed. The son was left without a father… Maria did everything they would never meet again, and she returned to her loving and understanding parents in her nest where no one ever required anything from her.
So, it happens: they seem like adult people, but they didn’t talk about it and looked in different directions, so their goals were completely different!
Ask! Feel free to ask questions! Listen to her reasoning! I understand this is boring, I understand you can fall asleep listening this twitter, but let it be better, as at that joke, when two friends meet and one of them asks:
– Hi! Did you have good time? Have you ever talked to your girlfriend about anything?
– You won’t believe: her tongue has even tanned!
Let her say, speak, tell, share, confess, but you listen and conclude why she is with you.
Chapter 2
Should you rebuild you partner for yourself?
Odessa. The wife says to her husband lying on the sofa:
– Sema, do you want coffee?
– Yes!
– So, get up and make!
-Then not.
– So, lie and do not tell a lie!
When we have the honeymoon phase of our relationship, we are often ready to do everything to please our partner. I deliberately do not use the word “beloved”, because this is not always the case, but on the contrary, more often it comes to meetings people you like or you need this person for one reason or another.
And we start to pretend we are not in reality: miserly – generous, lazy – quick, dirty – neat, etc. But time runs, and after a couple of months you can observe changes in the behavior and mood of the partner. Most of them are noticeable for those who begin to live together and communicate with a person every day. It becomes an unpleasant surprise for majority especially if you are in a hurry and have managed to “dirty” the passport with a marriage stamp. Moreover, it’s awful if the bride is pregnant or has already given birth and is completely unable and unwilling to take care of the child, or to take care of herself.