“Miss Eyre, you should be grateful to Mrs. Reed for keeping you,” said Bessie, in a kinder voice. “If you don’t behave, she might send you away[3], and then where would you be?”
“You’d better say your prayers, Miss, and ask for forgiveness,” said Abbott.
They left and locked the door behind them.
Left alone, holding furiously onto the chair I had been pushed into, I turned the afternoon’s events over and over in my mind[4]. Why did everyone adore selfish, rude John, Georgiana and Eliza, and hate me, even though I tried to be good? Why could I never please? Was it because they were pretty, with their golden curls and silk dresses, and I was poor and plain? “Unjust!—unjust!” said a voice in my head.
The room was silent as it was far from the nursery and kitchen. It was getting dark as the daylight faded and I had no candle. It was cold too as there was no fire. I thought about Mr. Reed. He had been my uncle—my mother’s brother. When my parents had died, I was a baby, and my uncle Reed had brought me to live at Gateshead Hall. Bessie had told me that Mrs. Reed only continued to look after me because, just before his death, Mr. Reed had made her promise that she would.
He had always been kind to me. Perhaps now his spirit was watching[5], and was angry about the way they treated me. Perhaps—I gripped the chair more tightly, and felt frightened—perhaps his ghost really lived in this room.
The thought of seeing a ghost, even kind Mr. Reed’s ghost, filled me with terror. I was not quite sure whether Abbott and Bessie had locked the door; I got up and went to see. Alas! yes. I stared into the darkness in panic, convinced a phantom was about to appear.
At this moment a light gleamed on the wall and began to glide slowly across the ceiling towards me.
Looking back, I know it was probably nothing more than a footman carrying a lantern across the lawn[6]. But, in my terrified state of mind, I believed it was the ghost. My head grew hot, something seemed near me. I rushed to the door and shook the lock in desperate effort screaming.
I heard footsteps, the key turned, Bessie and Abbot entered.
“Take me out! Let me go into the nursery!” I cried.
“What for? Are you hurt? Have you seen something?” demanded Bessie.
“I saw a light, and I thought it was a ghost…”
“What is all this?” It was Mrs. Reed. “Bessie, I told you to leave Jane alone.”
“Miss Jane screamed so loudly, ma’am…”
“You cannot get out by these means, child,” Mrs. Reed said. “It is my duty to show you that tricks will not work. You will now stay here an hour longer.”
“O aunt! have pity! Forgive me!”
But I was only an actress in her eyes. Bessie and Abbot left first, Mrs. Reed pushed me back into the room and locked me in.
Left alone once more, I fell unconscious, as that was the last thing I remembered.
Chapter 2
When I woke up, I was somewhere warm and soft. There was a red glow and muffled voices around me. Someone lifted me, and then I rested my head against a pillow or an arm, and felt easy.
When I opened my eyes, I saw that I was in my own bed. The glow came from the fire. It was night. Bessie stood beside me, looking anxious, and a gentleman sat in a chair near my pillow. I knew him. It was Mr. Lloyd, an apothecary. Mrs. Reed called him sometimes when the servants were ill.
“Who am I, Jane?” he asked.
“Mr. Lloyd,” I said, offering him at the same time my hand. He took it and smiled.
“I think she’ll be alright. I’ll come back tomorrow.”
He departed, to my grief. I felt so sheltered when he sat in the chair, and then all the room darkened.